So Much for My Happy Ending
by Genevia
Summary: But the hardest of all is unrequited love. Sequel to both "It Kills Me" and "It Kills Him, All Because of Me".
1. Aftermath of the Kiss

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Glee, sadly. If I did, Kurt and Blaine would be the main characters. ;)

**A/N:** Whooo! This is my second multi-chaptered fic! Wish me luck guys. This fic is the sequel to both "It Kills Me" and "It Kills Him, All Because of Me". The former is Kurt's POV of unrequited love and the latter is Blaine's POV. So read them if you haven't!

Love is fickle.

It is a fire, and whether it warms your heart or burns you down, you can never tell.

It is seeing the one you love at the bottom of the cliff while you are at the top. Foolishly, you jump, not thinking if your love will catch you or leave you to fall.

It is hanging precariously in mid-air and hoping that someone will help you before it's too late.

But the hardest of all is unrequited love.

It is the most painful thing a person can experience in his/her life.

Nonetheless, the only thing anyone can do is to try to stand up and move on.

Easy to say but hard to do.

Especially if you love that person way too much.

Kurt Elizabeth Hummel lay curled into a ball on his bed, hugging a phone to his chest. Large sobs racked through his body. His eyes were red and brimming with tears.

The screen on his phone shone brightly with a message showing;

_Courage. – Blaine_

The petite boy looked at his phone as a fresh wave of sobs erupted from his lips.

This continued until he fell asleep, his tears never stopping in its flow.

_**The next morning…**_

"Kurt? Come on open the door! You've been in there since Friday night." a voice on the other side of the door said, accompanied with other voices.

Disregarding the shouts emanating from outside, Kurt only lay on his bed with his eyes open. His breathing was shallow and tears stained his usually rosy cheeks.

"Kurt! This is Wes, now open the door!"

"Yeah, what he said!"

"Shut up David."

"…"

The voices outside rose but was suddenly shushed as someone approached. "Is he still in there?" a melodious voice asked. Kurt immediately sat up on his bed when he heard it.

There was no mistaking that voice for another and Kurt's heart broke once more as his mind was bombarded with the memories of the past.

…

"_Pretty please Kurtsie?" Blaine asked, his puppy dog eyes popping out of his head like a car's headlights. Kurt rolled his eyes as the older boy held up a Blu-ray DVD of Harry Potter. Instead of rejecting the other boy's choice for a movie, he huffed and glared at the soloist._

"_Fine! But if you call me 'Kurtsie' one more time, I will set fire to your Harry Potter Series." he threatened the brunette with a teasing glint in his eyes. Blaine's mouth popped open dramatically at Kurt's words._

"_You wouldn't dare.." Blaine said. He stared at the countertenor with a feigned shocked expression on his face._

"_Oh but I would, Mr. Anderson." Kurt replied, his tone playful and humorous._

_Thus, they watched Harry Potter that night, curled up in Blaine's small couch._

…

Sometimes Kurt wondered if he was a masochist because in all of his hurt right now, all he wanted was Blaine to hold him and tell him that it was all right, that everything would turn out fine and the suffering he was feeling would end soon.

Too bad that the boy he wanted to comfort him was the reason his heart was blazing with rejection.

But then again, said boy was always the one who was there, holding him together when he felt that he would break from his seams.

…

_Crooning words of comfort and encouragement, Blaine held Kurt in his strong yet gentle arms. The younger boy sobbed helplessly into the older boy's shirt, soaking it with salty tears of pain and melancholy._

"_Shush Kurt. You're going to be fine." Blaine whispered softly to the countertenor's messed hair. "It takes time but I'll be here for you."_

_Amidst all the despair Kurt was going through; despair from having to be forced to fit in like everyone else, despair from being accepted yet still being closed off and despair from missing his family and the New Directions, his heart fluttered at hearing Blaine's words. _

_Slowly and ever so slowly, the pain in his chest ebbed away as Blaine continued to hum words of comfort. And all Kurt wanted was to stay in his arms forever._

…

Kurt sighed deeply as a new wave of fresh tears built in his eyes and flowed relentlessly. He would just have to make-do for now and try to keep himself from breaking, because now, there was no one he could turn to.

_**At the same time outside of Kurt's room…**_

"Is he still in there?" Blaine asked Wes and David who were trying to eavesdrop on the door. His eyes were full of unspoken grief.

"Yeah, he is. Thanks a lot Blaine." The Asian answered with contempt. Blaine winced slightly at his friend's tone.

"Wes, you know I never meant to hurt him." he answered. Wes however, did not seem to be convinced by his answer. He trembled slightly and David held him back with an arm on his shoulder.

"Easy Wes." David warned. His voice turned cautious when he addressed Blaine. "Blaine, if you didn't mean it, then you would have tried to reconcile with him and it's been two days since the 'incident'." he emphasized the last word with air quotes.

The soloist looked at his friends guiltily, not speaking in fear of saying the wrong words.

Silence.

Wes and David shook their heads as the former had a scowl on his face and the latter had a disappointed frown.

"He deserves better than that Blaine - " Wes started.

David continued his friend's sentence. " - don't make him think that you just played with him and brought him here for your silly little games."

"He maybe strong but he's not strong enough to suffer from another heartbreak." they both said with sadness in their tone.

Blaine couldn't face his friends. With what they said, it seemed as if they knew everything about the porcelain boy. He took that as his cue to leave. The other Warblers who had gone with Wes and David parted as the soloist passed. Recently, it seemed that the world parted just for him.

And he didn't have to wonder why.

**A/N:** So how'd I do? Review and review m'kay? The next chapter should be out by next week. Lol, if you want it asap, review okay?

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	2. He stands

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Glee, sadly. If I did, Kurt and Blaine would be the main characters. ;)

**A/N:** Second Chapter! Wheee! I am loving myself for writing this! Thanks to all of those who reviewed the previous chapter! You guys are awesome! –gives out virtual muffins-

* * *

What would you do if the one who kept you whole was the one who broke you apart in the end?

Would you hate him?

Would you feel sorry for yourself?

Or would you pick up pieces of yourself that he has destroyed and walk away, trying to move on even though it's hard?

* * *

_And I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing  
You were still here_

_Said I'm so sick of love songs  
So sad and slow_

A brown-haired boy sat and stared out of a window with a frown on his face. He turned to the radio, which was playing that _horrendous_ song.

"Ew." he muttered with complete disgust as he stood up and turned it off. He sighed and mumbled something about sad and mushy songs being intolerable before sitting once more near the windowpane. The night sky was littered with a thousand stars, all glittering beautifully with their brilliance. The boy marveled at it with eyes that spoke of forlornness and longing. Then he sighed when he realized that the music that filled the air was gone, leaving with silence that compelled him to think. His fist closed in a tight grip as thoughts ran around his mind amok

How many times had he cried night and day just thinking of that curly-haired and completely adorkable boy?

_Too many._

How many tears had he shed because of this stinking heartache?

_Too much._

And how many times had he hoped and gotten a slap to his face because of it?

_Not enough, not enough to learn his lesson._

_This is enough. I'm Kurt-__**freaking**__-Hummel! It's nothing new to have my heart broken!_, he thought, _I'm over him!_ But matter what he tried to believe in just to forget and move on, he knew it was all a lie.

lie._lie._**lie.**_**lie.**_lie.

That single word ran around his mind endlessly, torturing him with bittersweet memories and harsh lessons.

"Nope, I'm done. It's over. I **am** over **him**." he chanted. With a determined look on his face, he stood up and strode out of the room.

He was going to stand up and keep his head held high. He was going to show the world how he – Kurt Elizabeth Hummel – could still stand straight and tall even with the pain of having his heart broken, _again._

…

Sunlight streamed through the tall windows of Kurt's room. A ray of sunlight hit the eyes of the countertenor, causing him to fidget in his bed.

"No, no, no, no, no…" he muttered, almost incoherently. His eyes were shut tightly, as if he wanted to stop seeing something.

_He was standing on top of a steep cliff. Hair whipped his dun hair and his Dalton uniform. If he didn't know this was a dream, Kurt would've been annoyed at having his beloved hair becoming wind-blown. _

_Me plus wind-blown hair is not a good look., he thought vaguely._

_KURT! The wind screamed. His attention captured, Kurt looked around but saw nothing. Who could have called him?_

_KURT! The wind shrieked. This time, he decided to look down the cliff and a small smile formed on his face at what he saw. A small boy with black, unruly curls stood a few feet below him. Hazel eyes and soft lips adorned his handsome face. It was Blaine, the one and only._

_Blaine was looking up to him with a big, adorkable grin on his face. He seemed ecstatic at seeing the countertenor._

_KURT! It wasn't the wind, Kurt realized as he saw Blaine below open his mouth to yell his name. The funny thing was, the soloist was also making gestures with his arms wildly, as if he wanted to tell Kurt something._

_Jump? Stay away? Turn back? Take a leap?, Kurt thought. What was Blaine telling him to do?_

_With a shrug, Kurt just jumped. Well, Blaine was there. What did he have to worry about?_

_Actually, he only had to worry about ONE tiny thing, he realized as he shot down towards the ground with a dizzying speed._

_Blaine wasn't there to catch him._

_Well this sucks, Kurt thought as he hit the ground with a sickening crunch._

"NO!" he cried one final time. Kurt sat up on his bed, sweat beading on his forehead and trailing down his neck. With a frown, he huffed and stood up. So much for a good night's sleep. He looked at his bedside clock.

8:34 am, Sunday.

He suppressed a sigh. It was quite late. Burt, Carole, Finn and the rest of the ND would be freaking out by now. Grabbing his iPhone, he almost gawked at the number of missed calls and messages.

**64 missed calls. 53 text messages.**

Yup, he was right. They were totally freaking out. But then again, he was in no condition to talk last night. Duh, of course he wouldn't be. Because even though it had almost been four days since he had his heart trampled on, the pain was still fresh in his mind. Given the circumstances, he still decided to text Mercedes. He couldn't have his bestfriend die in complete worry over him, could he?

_Morning 'Cedes, sorry for not calling the whole week. School trouble. I'll visit later this afternoon. Tell you when I get there. –K_

His fingers hovered over his phone as he contemplated whether he was fine enough to call his dad. Biting his lip, he quickly went to his contacts and pressed the call button. Not calling would probably give his dad another heart attack, and Kurt couldn't have that.

It wasn't long before Burt picked up his phone.

_Kurt? Jesus, son! Why haven't you called?_, Burt shouted right after he picked it up.

Kurt winced at his father's tone. "Sorry dad. I was just - um - busy." he said quickly, crossing his fingers behind his back. He heard his father sigh over the phone.

_But really, you could have left a message or something. We were all worried._, Burt murmured

"I'm sorry, dad." Kurt mumbled, "I'll make it up to you, I'll be coming for lunch today so we can hang out." He could almost see his father smiling over the phone.

_Sure, sure. That would be great! But don't you have school tomorrow?_, Burt asked.

"Don't worry dad, I'll just come back before sunset." Kurt replied. He heard his father harrumph. The two exchanged a few more words before ending the call.

Kurt stared at his phone. Today, just for today, he'll pour everything out to his friends and when tomorrow comes, he will stand tall and try to forget. As he made his decision, he put his phone down and breathed deeply before sauntering to the bathroom. Half an hour passed when he finally got out and changed into his form-fitting, blue-gray, turtleneck sweater, black, skin-tight jeans and his prized Prada boots. It took him another half hour to get his hair into its perfect style.

At 9:45 am, Kurt Hummel had finally finished with his ritual and he looked as perfect as ever. He quickly picked up his bag and hastily walked to the door. No noise disturbed the serenity that blanketed the whole building. Kurt made his way into the parking lot without seeing anyone but as he got in his black Navigator, he noticed two figures stealthily hiding behind a pillar. He rolled his eyes. His 'mother hens' seemed to take looking after him seriously. Well, he wasn't that _delicate_ to need protecting.

He dismissed them and made his way to Lima. On the road, he turned the radio on and blasted the music to maximum volume. It was a two-hour ride home and he didn't want to think about this convoluted love/unrequited love chick flick he was in, at least, not yet.

* * *

**A/N:** Holy Mother of Gaga. I think my brain just imploded from writing too much. Uggh, review please so I can save enough money for surgery for my recently-imploded brain or else I won't be able to write the next chapter. Once again, ugghhh..

Episode 13 of Glee did not have any Klaine action at all and I am disappointed, console me?

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	3. Release

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee. If I did, Kurt will have all of the male characters of Glee fighting over him.

**A/N:** Sorry about the late update guys. T'was just busy with school and such, plus, I'm working on three multichaptered fics. I'm awesome, yeah. –insert dorkish grin here-

* * *

"_Kuurt!_" Mercedes squealed, enveloping the boy in a bear hug. Kurt giggled and returned it. Both had ecstatic smiles on their faces when they pulled away. They stood just outside a coffee shop in Lima, planning to catch up on everything.

"It's so good to see you 'Cedes! Life at Dalton has been a killer." the countertenor said, trying to ignore the constricting feeling in his throat. Mercedes, on the other hand, noticed the glimmer of sadness and hurt that flashed in his eyes. She scowled and pulled him inside the coffee shop. Having been friends for a long time, she could easily read the boy's emotions like an open book and this time was no exception. Kurt's eyes widened at his friend's actions; he raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow but otherwise said nothing.

After they ordered their coffee and sat down, Mercedes looked at him with raptor eyes as he sipped his Grande Nonfat Mocha calmly. "I know you like the back of my hand, white boy. So you better tell me what's wrong, stat." Her tone was worried and a little irritated. "Obviously, there's something wrong. You invited only me to hang out. _Without_ the other ND girls." she continued.

Kurt winced inwardly. Of course, Mercedes would be able to tell that something was wrong with him, she always could. He couldn't hide anything from her actually, lest he incur the wrath of Mercedes Jones.

"Well, if you must know - " he started. Mercedes looked at him with undivided attention, urging him to continue. " – I just got my heart broken last Wednesday." he finished with a shrug. The dark-skinned girl gawked and almost did a spittake.

"What?" she screamed. Kurt shushed her down, uncomfortable with attracting attention. He looked at her and yep; he had just incurred the wrath of Mercedes Jones. She looked at him with a scowl painted upon her mouth.

"How could you not tell me?" she argued, obviously angry.

Kurt pursed his lips. "'Cedes, I – I – wasn't actually in the best condition these past four days." He sighed. "Plus, with all the drama going on at McKinley, I didn't want to impose."

Mercedes' scowl faded and was replaced by a sad smile. That was Kurt all right, trying to stand up and fight his own battles. This battle, however, was one she would not stand watching. She scooted over to his side and gripped his hand gently.

"You're still part of our family, Kurt. You may be going to Dalton but you'll always be one of us." she whispered. Kurt nodded, trying feebly to hold back tears.

Mercedes looked at him with understanding. "It's Blaine, isn't it?" she asked softly. The countertenor nodded once and went back to sipping his coffee quietly.

"You want to talk about it?" she offered. At the nod of confirmation that the boy gave, she slightly leaned on him. "Ready when you are."

Kurt breathed in deeply. No, he was not going to cry. The time for that had already passed. "Well, if you must know. Last Wednesday, - " His voice was shaky but he continued with complete resolution. " – I kissed Blaine." Mercedes gasped. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"If you kissed him then…" she trailed off, puzzlement radiating in her eyes. Kurt shook his head. "He didn't feel the same way. Never did actually." he muttered, calling forth a pained smile.

At one of those rare times, Mercedes was speechless. What _the hell had happened? If they kissed, shouldn't Kurt and Blaine be like… together?_, she thought.

The countertenor's gaze was on his coffee and by the looks of it, he was lost in his memories of that night. Very lost in fact, but he continued to speak. "He was there for me only as a mentor and friend. Nothing more. Nothing less." His tone was dead, as if he was repeating words that had been said over and over again.

"Oh Kurt," Mercedes cooed, pulling the boy in for a hug. She felt him tremble and quickly knew that he was trying to hold back his tears. "Let it out, baby boy. It's all right, I'm here. Just let it out." she crooned. Kurt deserved better that this, she decided. Deserved _better_ after what he had gone through at McKinley. Why couldn't the world let him have that small sliver of happiness?

After a few minutes, Kurt pulled away without any trace of tears in his eyes. Mercedes looked at him, dubious as to whether he was really fine or not. He just smiled. The fact that he was able to stop his tears from flowing proved that he was close to getting over Blaine and if he could just work on the gaping hole in his chest, that would prove that he was really over **him. **

He decided to change the subject and asked Mercedes what was going on with Glee club. Laughter and gasps filled their conversation until he forgot that he was hurting. Mercedes smiled as she realized this but she still couldn't relax at the underlying sadness that hid in the glasz eyes of the countertenor.

Time passed by quickly. Kurt didn't even realize that it was almost sunset. A soft "shit" escaped his lips when he asked Mercedes about the time.

**6:14 pm**

She had driven him home when he said that he needed to go back to Dalton, saying that there was a 10 o'clock curfew. After a brief hug and reassurance that he would call her if he needed someone to talk to, more so if he was hurt, Mercedes left. Kurt said goodbye to his family, earning a hug from his Burt, a kiss to the forehead from Carole and an awkward one-armed, man hug from Finn.

As he drove off, he looked at his clock every now and then, anxious about the time. It was already past curfew when he arrived at Dalton. Traffic had been a bitch, almost doubling the usual two-hour drive. Kurt tiptoed as he entered the Dalton halls and made his way silently into the boardrooms. He was near his room when he heard footsteps.

_Shit! I forgot that there are prefects roaming around at night!_, he thought fiercely. He was actually determined to have a flawless permanent record during his high school so he swiftly ducked into another corridor. In his haste, he did not see a figure walking down the hall. As a result, he bumped into the shorter boy and both ended up on the floor.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I was on my way back but there was traffic and oh - I swear I won't be caught past curfew again! I- " he rambled but stopped short when he saw who he had bumped into.

Blaine _freakin'_ Anderson.

As circumstances would have had it, Blaine was the temporary prefect because the real prefect was currently in the hospital.

_Oh holy wizard gods, this isn't going to end well._, both boys thought at the same time.

* * *

**A/N:** ROFL! Left you hanging didn't I? I'm evil for doing that, yup, totally evil. Oh yeah, if you haven't noticed, I changed my penname to "Genevia" from "Genairra Enigma". It's still me though, that really annoying, no-good writer who seems to only like angst. Yup, ish meh. For the reason why when my previous penname was awesome already, is actually something really funny. You wouldn't want to know…

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	4. Aloof

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee. If I did, Kurt would have more solos.

* * *

When an opportunity is presented to you on a golden platter, take it. You never know if it will come again.

If you let it pass by, you may have given up the chance to fix something.

And well, frankly, regret is always at the end.

They stood up at the same time; Blaine smoothed his uniform as Kurt dusted his pants. Awkward silence hung thickly in the air.

_Oh god. What am I going to say? Is he still mad at me?_, Blaine avoided Kurt's gaze.

Kurt looked at Blaine, hoping that the soloist would speak or even just look at him. _Please, please, please, __**please**__. Just say something, anything!_

Minutes passed and both boys hadn't moved or talked at all. Neither seemed to want to speak, not after almost four days of ignoring each other. Still, Kurt _had_ to get back to his room ASAP if he wanted to do his moisturizing routine before going to sleep, and if Blaine wouldn't talk to him, too bad. He cleared his throat and caused Blaine to look up. Turbulent but restrained, blue-yet-green eyes rested upon apologetic, hazel ones.

"I'm sorry for arriving past curfew, _Mr. Prefect_. It won't happen again." Kurt said, contempt coloring his tone. "I, however, need to go back to my room. Goodnight." He started to walk away but a hand suddenly held his arm, stopping him in his tracks. His heart thundered wildly in his chest in anticipation of what was coming.

Silence.

A deep breath came from the brunette. "Be sure that this is the last. I won't be lenient next time." His voice was monotonous as he spoke.

Kurt shook free from the grasp, his expression icy yet hurt. "Of course, _Mr. Prefect_." he ejaculated sharply. He spun on his heel to walk away, this time without any interruption.

* * *

Blaine watched the brown-haired countertenor walk away with melancholic eyes. Really? Had he _really_ been that stupid to let an opportunity slide by? He had the perfect chance to apologize to Kurt about what happened, to say that he would always like the junior as a friend. Blaine frowned. Well, that wasn't a good enough reason, was it? It was so cliché to tell someone that you like them, but only as a friend. It was one of the lines in those cheesy flicks that – well – just applied to real life, no matter how cheesy they were.

With a sigh, the soloist trudged around the halls once more, lamenting in the thoughts that had been released in his mind.

But what could he do? It was not as if he could force himself to love Kurt. Things just don't work that way.

Blaine groaned. With all the things that were happening, he almost wished that he hadn't sung Teenage Dream on that fateful day. He wasn't like the New Directions. When he sang a song, it wasn't as if he really meant all of the lyrics he sang. He just well, sang it for fun. He let the emotions and actions that accompanied the song show, but never meaning them.

* * *

Kurt let out a frustrated groan at the exact moment he entered his room. Damn Blaine and his obliviousness! He huffed and quickly shed his clothes in frustration. Well, if Blaine was going to be aloof with him all the time then he found no reason to treat the soloist any differently.

After all his nightly rituals, he got into his bed. He shut his eyes tightly before dozing off into sleep a few minutes later, wondering when this cliché chick flick would end.

* * *

The next few days went along without the boys talking to each other. Granted, they did see each other during a few classes but they avoided eye contact. Kurt would sit stiffly and keep his eyes forward while Blaine would slump a little and kept his eyes on his notes.

Before the 'incident', the two had been inseparable. They always sat together at any of the classes they had together.

At lunch, they would eat with the Warblers, laughing and talking.

After class, they would often grab coffee at their favorite shop.

During weekends, they would have movie marathons or just stay up all night, chatting amiably.

Now, they never even wanted to be within arm's reach from one another.

And well, frankly, Blaine had enough of this. Just because Kurt had kissed him and admitted his feelings, didn't mean that he and Blaine couldn't be friends, right?

_Right_, Blaine decided. He and Kurt could still be friends. He would apologize to the countertenor and everything would go back to the way it was.

_Later that afternoon..._

The soloist had not seen Kurt all day, even at the Warbler's meeting. Adding to this peculiarity was the fact that Wes and David kept sending him undisguised, panicked looks. He had wanted to talk to them but after the meeting, they dodged him by saying that they had to be somewhere else.

What was going on?

_That night..._

"Kurt?" Blaine said, after knocking on the door of the junior's dorm.

When no one answered, he sighed. He turned the knob slowly before speaking again. "Kurt?"

As soon as he opened the door and entered the room, he almost wished he hadn't...

* * *

**A/N:** I'm REALLY REALLY sorry for not updating in like, a million of years! I was just busy and had writer's block for the longest time. I'm also sorry that this chapter is soooo short. I promise to make the next one longer and update it asap! So please don't hate me?


	5. Undying Love

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee. If I did, then I would be Ryan Murphy and the last time I checked, I was Genevia. :D

* * *

As soon as he opened the door and entered the room, he almost wished he hadn't...

* * *

"_Life is but a walking shadow; a poor player that struts and feels his hour upon the stage and then heard no more."_ – Shakespeare

Cherish someone when they are beside you.

They, like us, have only ephemeral lives. If we fail to acknowledge what they represent in our existence, it is a loss.

Most especially if they are a part of our heart. The loss of them could mean the death of a little part within us.

* * *

...

..

.

All Blaine saw when entered the room was big moving boxes strewn around. A gasp escaped his lips. Were was Kurt going to? Surely not back to McKinley? Karofsky was still there! That Neanderthal was sure to harass Kurt more or worse...

The thought was too dark for him to finish.

"Kurt?' he called out again, eager to find the countertenor.

His eyes wandered the room until he saw the junior on the bed. He let out a sigh of relief then quietly walked over to the dozing boy.

Blaine sat on the edge of the mattress when he reached the cot, gently running a hand through Kurt's hair.

Kurt was asleep, albeit without peace emanating his features. His lips were sculpted into a frown and tear tracks stained his cheeks. He lay on the bed on his back; positioned like a corpse with his hands clasped.

His chest.

The soloist noticed that the junior's chest was not moving rhythmically. He rubbed his eyes and stared at the younger boy's chest for a while. After a few minutes, he suddenly struggled to breathe at his observation.

Nope, it was real. Kurt's chest wasn't moving at _all_. Kurt _wasn't_ breathing.

"Kurt?" he softly asked.

.

..

...

* * *

"_The mind has a thousand eyes and the heart but one, yet the light of a whole life dies when love is gone." _– Shakespeare

Love is what makes up our life.

In times of complete desperation, it is what pulls us out from our lachrymose and helps us to smile again.

In times of utter helplessness, it is what helps us to overcome obstacles and gives us courage.

When it is gone, we are nothing. We would be just creatures who searched for nothing throughout our lives.

We would be empty and void beings.

We would die, whether metaphorically or literally.

* * *

...

..

.

Pain. Absolute pain. That was what Blaine felt now. He had never experienced anything _more_ excruciating.

Kurt was dead. His _best friend_ was dead.

A bottle of pills on the side table caught the soloist's eye. He reached for it with shaking hands.

Sleeping pills.

Shocked, he dropped the bottle. Kurt had committed suicide.

Blaine clutched his chest. The world swam around him and his heart seemed to have stopped beating. He couldn't breathe, couldn't see anything. Everything then came into focus and a wave of sobs erupted from Blaine's lips.

He had died inside now that his best friend was gone.

.

..

...

* * *

"_It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eyes."_ – The Little Prince

The mind is too logical. It rationalizes everything because of what we believe in.

The heart sees everything. It sees what the truth is behind all the lies.

The mind may say that you are with someone because they are a very good friend of yours; the heart, however, may say that you are with that person because you actually love them

Which would you believe?

* * *

...

..

.

Tears flowed in an unending stream down his cheeks.

"Kurt... Kurt... Why?" he mumbled helplessly. Blaine didn't know what possessed Kurt to do such a thing. The countertenor had never exuded an aura of a suicidal person. A breeze then blew in from the open window, causing an envelope to suddenly rustle from its place on the side table. Blaine looked at it and saw his name written in an elegant writing that could only be Kurt's. He reached for it gingerly, hands shaking wildly as he opened the letter.

_Dear Blaine,_

_If you're reading this, I guess then you've found me. Well, more specifically, my body._

_I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry for kissing you on that day. I knew I shouldn't have jumped into conclusions. But you have to understand, with all your actions and the way you interacted with me, it was impossible not to._

_I'm sorry for doing this. For killing myself. I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take not having you by my side. You are my best friend Blaine. And it just hurt like hell when you stopped talking to me. It hurt so much. You've no idea how I cried myself to sleep every night. Remember the time when I kissed you? You just ran away, leaving me to just stand there. It killed me but you know what else did? When I had the perfect opportunity to talk to you and you to me and we wasted it. You were so cold that night. I never thought that you could become like that._

Blaine gulped. He should have known it from the start. He was the cause why Kurt killed himself. He was a monster. A monster!

_I guess that you're seeing all the boxes around the room. I was actually going to move back to McKinley. Dad couldn't afford Dalton tuition anymore and I wanted to go back too. So it was a win-win._

_I was digging through my stuff when I found the scarf you gave me. The navy blue one that seemed to glitter like the night sky. When I saw it, every moment we spent together came back to me. And then BAM!- I just fell into pieces. I remembered how we always had coffee dates, how you always consoled me when I was sad, how we often had movie marathons and how we always hung out._

_I miss those times, you know. Things weren't really the same after the 'incident'. Since you refused to come near me, I had to find other friends. Yet they never could compare to you, Blaine._

_I could never talk about Vogue with them like we did. They could never truly sympathize with me like you did. _

_Nobody could replace you._

_Say sorry to Dad, Carole, Finn, Mercedes and the rest of ND for me, will you? Tell them that I just couldn't take it anymore. _

_Don't blame yourself because of what I did. I did it because I was too weak to take things. _

_Love Kurt._

_P.S._

_I love you, Blaine. Always and forever._

Blaine trembled after finishing the letter. How couldn't he blame himself? He was the cause of everything. He blinked away tears and read the last line of the letter once again.

After all he had done to Kurt, how could the countertenor still love him?

His heart clenched once more as he reminisced all the times they had spent together.

Something then broke inside him.

He wasn't hurting so much because he had lost his best friend.

He was hurting because he had lost someone he _loved._

.

..

...

* * *

"_The measure of a person is not how well he prepares for everything to go right, but how he stands gracefully to move on after everything goes wrong."_

When a situation is presented to you, learn how to prepare not only for when everything goes right but also when everything goes wrong.

You are weak when you wail when nothing goes the way you planned for them to be.

You are strong when you overcome the problems caused by you mistake.

* * *

...

..

.

Blaine slumped to the floor. His limbs felt like mush.

Why had he realized it only now? If he had earlier, everything would have been different. He and Kurt wouldn't have hurt and Kurt wouldn't have killed himself.

A haze fogged his brain. Kurt was gone and without Kurt, Blaine knew he was nothing. The countertenor was the one who gave color to his boring life. Why had he let someone who was so beautiful and irreplaceable go? It was pure stupidity.

Blaine eyed the pills. He grabbed one and popped it into his mouth, it was soon followed by another and another...

He was _thisclose_ to falling to darkness. He was sure of it. _One last pill._ He thought.

A hand grabbed Blaine's arm. Surprised, he looked up and saw Kurt.

"Kurt? But you're dead." he mumbled then glanced at the pill. "Don't worry, I'll follow soon." He was about to put it in his mouth when Kurt's hand on his arm stopped him.

"_No, Blaine. You don't need to follow me."_ Kurt said. Blaine then wondered how he was speaking to Kurt when the countertenor's body was lying on the bed.

"B-but I _need_ to." Blaine retorted. Tears glistened in his eyes once more. "I love you Kurt. I'm so sorry that I only realized this now and I—" His words were stopped by Kurt's lips upon his. The younger boy's lips felt soft and real yet so ethereal.

Kurt pulled away. "_You realized that you loved me. That's enough. Go on with your life, Blaine._" The pill that Blaine clutched suddenly disappeared. "_I love you._" Kurt said.

Blaine fell into darkness.

.

..

...

* * *

"_When sorrow becomes too deep for words, the wisdom quiet may be born. Then sorrow becomes transmitted into strength and peace."_ – Reyes

Sadness is expressed through actions and words. But sometimes, it is just too immeasurable and thus, unable to be expressed.

When those times come, silence is the only thing we can turn to.

Words are not enough and neither are actions.

* * *

...

..

.

It has been two weeks since Blaine found Kurt's body.

Two weeks since Blaine realized that he loved Kurt.

And a week since Kurt's funeral.

As was expected, Burt had blamed Blaine for his son's death. The New Directions had too, but Blaine took it all silently. He did not argue or speak even when their words became hurtful, especially Mercedes'. He knew that it was true. He had caused Kurt's death. He was to blame.

Things had never been the same again.

Blaine, it seemed, didn't speak that much anymore. At class, wherein he always participated in the discussions, he now stayed silent. The same went for Warbler's practice. In addition, he had refused any solo given to him.

He often stayed in his room, locking himself up. His roommate had always found him staring up in the ceiling whilst lying on his bed.

Blaine visited Kurt's grave everyday. He sat there, silent and unmoving. As such, a bouquet of white roses was always found on the gravestone. A token of undying love. Even though Kurt had told him to let go, Blaine just couldn't. He couldn't forget the boy he loved. No, not ever.

_I'll cover you_

_When your heart has expired_

.

..

...

"Regret is always at the end."

* * *

**A/N: **Awww.. It's finished! I sort of did this in one afternoon, so it isn't one of my best works. I'm sorry it took so long for me to post this. I was too busy writing a collaboration with meh sis. If you want to read it, it's entitled: "OF JEALOUSY AND FOREIGN ACCENTS".

The quotations I used may not be written word for word. I just got them from my notes in English and my teacher there is not the most by-the-book person.

Please don't pelt me with rotten tomatoes for killing Kurt. I just had this ending in mind ever since I started with it. So yeah...

Leave a review! M'kay? -pouts- I'm kind of sad cuz I don't get much reviews but I got a LOT of hits. -insert puppydog face here-

Sayonara, my dear readers! Until next time!


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